Toke Makinwa, a well-known media personality, and Nollywood actress has revealed that she would have remained married to her estranged husband, Maje Ayida, if they had a child together. She shared this insight during the latest episode of her podcast, TokeMoments, where she had Nollywood actress Iyabo Ojo as a guest.
Makinwa and Maje Ayida tied the knot in 2014 but separated in 2015 after it was discovered that Ayida had impregnated his ex-girlfriend. In her statement, Makinwa suggests that having a child together might have influenced her decision to stay in the marriage, as she acknowledges that many women do so for the sake of their children. This reveals the complexity of her personal experiences and perspectives on marriage and motherhood.
“Sometimes I feel a lot of women stay in unhealthy marriages for their children. For the longest, you hear so many women say things like, ‘The marriage is done but I only stay for my kids.’
“And I’m going to be honest here, if I had had a kid while I was married, I may have been one of those women. Because I also had the trauma of losing both parents at the age of 8. I was adopted, and I have a great life which I’m thankful for but there were times that I wondered what life could have possibly been like if that didn’t happen.
“So, for the sake of my children, I may have had to compromise just because I wanted them to have mum and dad. I may have been one of these women. So, I’m not even judging anyone right here.” she said
Reacting, her guest, Ojo said she would also have remained married if she had a better understanding of life and was older.
She said, “I was young at the time. If I was at this age, a lot of the decisions I took I probably would not have taken. Because now I’m wiser and have a better understanding of life.
“Now, I am more exposed and enlightened. But then I was coming from a place where I was already damaged as a child. You know when you come from a very wealthy home but you’ve to raise yourself? Things like that.
“I didn’t grow up knowing my mum and dad. I was living with my dad, my grandmother, and his brothers. My grandmother was my mum to me. My dad was not like a dad; he was like a brother and friend. He was like an uncle because he enjoyed life too much and really didn’t have time to pay attention to me.
“Growing up in that kind of situation where I didn’t even know what they called ‘mummy’, I didn’t know I had a mother; I only knew my mum when I was about seven. My parents were never married; they just had my brother and me together.”
